August 23, 2003

HE WIFE AND I WERE SICK with the "crud that's goin' around" and couldn't make the July match with the High Country Cowboys, but Pixelwiz dropped me off at the range on her way up to Johnson City so I could make some smoke with the rest of the pards this month.

In my absence a new false-front had been constructed, a lovely pink bordello was the new setting for Stage Three. Zounds! I was looking forward to seeing how the old .44-40 Winchester carbine would shoot, since I'd had a new crown put on the muzzle in July and had yet to fire it.

Stage One: The Nevada
As the name implies, all the targets on this stage were shot in a Nevada sweep. I told Catfish Calhoun that I'd a new crown on my rifle barrel, and he promised to tell me if my rounds were off. I drew my first pistol with my left hand and shot the three targets from left to right, holstered and went the opposite way (right to left) with my other revolver. Five rifle targets got nine rounds in another Nevada sweep, and as far as we could tell, I hit them all pretty much where I was aiming, so the new crown job must be okay. There were a pair of clay birds set into an iron "Y" bracket which I blasted with the shotgun. I knew I missed twice with my right hand pistol, but found when I looked at the score sheet later that I'd been called for three misses ... I don't know where that other one came from. Unfortunately, that would happen to me on a few more stages. Hopefully, Stevie Wonder won't be spotting for me at the next match!

Stage Two: Sweep Agin
Another set of Nevada sweeps here. I started at the left window and pulled my revolver to shoot three targets with a Nevada Sweep, then holstered the empty gun and moved to the door. The Winchester was leaning against the wall and I grabbed it to fire 10 rounds on four targets in a Nevada sweep. I secured the carbine and moved to the right window to shoot another three targets with my last pistol, missing two. Stepping back to the doorway, I picked up the scattergun and fired at the two swingers in front of me. When I'd finished, Catfish asked for the spotters' report -- turns out that no one had been spotting, but somebody decided I'd missed four. Where that came from, I don't know, but it rankled a bit. Luckily, I know what I did, and don't particularly care where I end up in a match.

Stage Three: Stand and Deliver!
As I innocently strolled past Cricket's Cathouse (really!), a jealous cowpoke figured I was aimin' to take up with his "girlfriend" inside. Nothing could be farther from the truth of course, but he would hear none of it and went for his revolver! What could I do? I stood in front of the doorway and blazed away. With my first sixgun I put five shots on three targets in a Nevada sweep, then picked up my lever-gun. There were four rifle targets, and I double-tapped each of them. I set the Winchester down, grabbed the shotgun and hit a pair of swingers four times, 1-2, 1-2. I finished with my other pistol, another Nevada sweep on three targets. I discovered that as this particular house of ill repute, when you shoot the stage clean you win a token! Mine is a $3 "all night check" good at the Octoroon in Los Angeles, where I would "receive sport enough to last for a year to come." Lucky me!

Stage Four: To the Right
We were to begin shooting all of the targets on this particular stage at the right side. I stood at the right window, drew my right pistol and fired a five-round Nevada sweep on three targets, starting, of course, with the target to the right. I moved to the doorway where I picked up my rifle and aimed at the rightmost of five targets for a nine-round Nevada sweep. I missed once, high. I used the shotgun to hit a pair of targets once each, then stepped to the left window where I used my sixgun to put one round on the right target and four on the left -- but I missed two of those four shots. Stevie Wonder was on the job again, and I was nicked for an extra miss. At the unloading table, Buckshot George wondered with me where that phantom miss had gone, but that's just how the day was, I suppose.

Stage Five: The Outhouse
There weren't many targets to choose from on this stage, which was fine with me. I stood outside the privy, then opened the door and stepped inside. Through the open back, I fired my revolvers, five shots on one target with each hand, then moved back outside. Retreiving my Winchester from the hay bale, I alternated 10 shots on two targets, shooting the stage cleanly.

Stage Six: Mercy Snakes!
There sure are a lot of vipers in these parts! Especially the kind that strongly resemble short lengths of green garden hose. Three of these deadly reptiles were laying nearby in a sandbox. Before I could take care of them, I had a clay pigeon to blast, shooting from the hip, no less. The deal was that you had four chances to bust the clay from the hip, and after that you could shoulder the shotgun and take it out that way. I surprised myself by nailing the bird with my first shot. I was quickly humbled by needing 8 shells to blast the three "snakes" out of the sand, however. The dreaded Steel Albino Rattler was still around after all, up there high on the hill, so I put a cartridge in the chamber of the Winchester and dinged him for a 5-second bonus.

Here are the numbers, with my "misses" noted: