November 22, 2003

NFORTUNATELY, I MISSED THE BIG MATCH in October, the one with the Chuckwagon Breakfast and the Long Range Rifle Side Match, due to a Job-Related (or, rather, a No Job Related) Issue. That has been remedied and it was a beautiful day for this November match in the mountains. It was chilly in the morning, but the sun was shining brightly and it warmed up quickly. It seemed more like a September day than one at the end of November -- but we'd take it!

Stage One: Goodness Snakes!
Catfish Calhoun started us off at the top of the hill this time, in the "snake pit" that usually finishes off the match. The procedure was the same: we'd need a bunch of shotgun shells and a single rifle cartridge -- no pistols. The first challenge was to blast a clay pigeon on a stand, but we had to fire the shotgun from the hip. I missed my first shot, but dusted it with the second barrel. I reloaded the side-by-side and shifted my aim to the sandbox, where three snakes lurked. The reptiles looked remarkably like sections of garden hose, but those dang critters didn't fool me. Blam! Blam! Blam! Three shots, and three snakes flew out of the pit. I shucked the shells from the shotgun, picked up the old Winchester and shoved a cartridge in the chamber. I took a bead on the big white rattler in the woods. Bang! Ding! So long, snake.

Stage Two: You Done In There?
I strapped on my pistol belt for this stage, and got ready to "kill the low-down so-and-so whut cut up that pore girl." I stood outside the privy, and called out, "You done in there?" I flung open the door and stepped inside, drawing my left revolver, alternating five shots on two targets. I pulled the other pistol and dumped those five shots on a single piece of steel. Moving back outside, I grabbed the carbine off the hay bale and put nine .44 slugs onto three targets in a Nevada Sweep. A little bonus target off in the woods dinged satisfactorily as I put the tenth rifle round on it. There were a pair of clays to blast with the shotgun, which I did in a cloud of smoke. The second clean stage of the day -- plus the bonus -- I was on a roll!

Stage Three: Make Yore Play
The local gang was callin' me out. There they stood in the street, as I watched 'em from the doorway. I said "Make your play, varmints" and moved quickly to the left window, where I skinned my smokewagon and commenced to firing. A Nevada Sweep, five shots on three targets, but I missed one -- dang it all! I stepped back to the doorway to pick off a trio of the bad guys who were farther away. Three shots each with the rifle, and I didn't have to worry about them no more! A group was sneaking up to the window on the right, so I went over there and drew my other revolver, shooting a five-round Nevada sweep onto three targets. But wait! There were two more still out there! I went back to the door, picked up the scattergun, and put a pair of shotgun shells onto each of them. The gang was gone, but I was still standing.

Stage Four: First Time I've Had To Fight My Way In Here!
After a long, long (really long!) time on the range, it was time for a little female companionship. However, as I walked up to the door of Cricket's Cathouse, I knew it would be a while longer. Broken-nose Bob and his Bad Boys were lounging about inside, and they were no friends of mine. "This is the first time I've had to fight my way IN here," I muttered, as I moved to the right side window and pulled a revolver. Aiming through the window, I shot I five-round Nevada Sweep on three targets. There was a bright light shining in my eyes (either the sun, or a really bright lamp) and no breeze -- which meant the clouds of smoke spewing from my weapons blocked my view. I holstered the gun, stepped to the doorway and picked up my Winchester to double-tap each of the four hombres coming down the stairs. I even got the short little fellow wayyyy back up there. Bonus! That backlit smoke made me bob and weave, trying to put my sights on the targets. I set the carbine down and grabbed my shotgun. There were a pair of standing clays to bust, which I did, even through the ever-gathering smoke clouds. I reloaded the double-barrel, even though I knew I had no prayer at hitting the bonus clay which went airborne after I dropped the other shotgun target. I just pulled the trigger and fired through the smoke in the general direction of the flying clay. I'm sure I came nowhere near it. I went to the left window and blazed away with my last pistol, straining to see the three targets. I somehow managed to hit them all, and the ladies were grateful. I was given a token for my troubles: an "all night check" to the Blair House in Silverton, Colorado. Yee-hah! Another clean stage!

Stage Five: Windows & Doors
There I was, holed up in my shack, minding my own business, when a voice shouted for me to show myself. It seemed that Broken-nose Bob had a brother, Bart. He was none to happy about what happened in town the other day, and he brought along some fellers who wanted to "talk to me about it." I wasn't feeling real conversational, so I opened up the window and fired my revolver at the three closest thugs, giving them a five-round Nevada sweep. My Winchester was loaded and leaning next to the door. I went over there and aimed at the four fellers on the hill, hiding behind the logs, hitting them with a ten-round Nevada sweep. Two of the varmints were trying to sneak up close, so I blasted them with the scattergun. Bart and a buddy were over to the right, and I fired out the other window at the two of 'em. When the smoke cleared, I hadn't missed a shot. Cleaned 'em again!

Stage Six: Gunfight(er) at the Corral
This stage begged to be shot Gunfighter-style, and after my pard Wild Otter did so (and challenged me to follow suit), I had little choice. The ten targets were set up right in a row. I began behind my horse, with the rifle in a scabbard. I pulled the Winchester out and fired a ten-round sweep, left to right. With the carbine's action open, I moved to the haybale at the left, exchanged the empty rifle for the shotgun and fired four times. I set the scattergun down and moved back towards the horse, where I pulled both pistols and went down the line of the ten targets. By the time the smoke had cleared, I had missed three targets, but I was grinning from ear to ear! Though I do shoot my revolvers duelist-style with their respective hands (left side gun with the left hand, right side gun with my right), I haven't made the move to the Gunfighter class (yet!). I don't even practice that way, so this was a first for me. I took my time and was very careful about it all -- and had a really fun stage.

In fact, at our club Christmas party a week later, Pixelwiz told everyone that I was going to shoot the entire next match as a Gunfighter, which was news to me. She made Otter agree to do that, too, so I guess we'd better do a little practicing before then. Catfish said he'd take that into consideration when he wrote the stage procedures. Yow!

And the numbers are...